When do you keep secrets? And when do you write a book about them?

Some people wait till all the people involved in their lives are dead before writing a salacious tell all while the rest of these so-called authors write them for the money, publicity and morning talk show appearances. In the last few weeks, two books came out that I am not sure really needed to be written. Oaky, a lot of books shouldn’t be written much less published and I don’t think my gripe with these two is because they got published and I didn’t. Yet. I keep telling myself that.

Hiding from Reality: My Story of Love, Loss, and Finding the Courage Within vs. Once Upon a Secret: My Affair with President John F. Kennedy and Its Aftermath (What happened to short titles?)

I could almost forgive Taylor Armstrong of the classless Housewives of Beverly Hills for writing her book, Hiding from Reality: My Story of Love, Loss, and Finding the Courage Within. I could almost forgive her until I read some of the scathing reviews that pretty much pointed to the fact that the book was written with a box of Crayolas. Are copyeditors banned from Beverly Hills? I guess their shoes don’t go with excess and gossip.

From what I am reading from the reviews it seems that there are a lot of incidences of “domestic abuse” that can be explained away as the result of plastic surgery (even Angelia Jolie wouldn’t want her lips to be THAT big) and that kind of makes my skin crawl. Is she making money off the millions of women who really do suffer from violence in the home? Major shame on her and her publisher if that is the case. Did they forget to fact check? I get it, dead husbands tell no lies.

But I think there must be some truth to the different forms of violence allegedly beaten into her by her late husband because where there is smoke, there is fire. And I have to admit my shame - I did watch some of the episodes to see for myself if I thought something was going on...like the truth. I think if there was no physical violence than there must have been some verbal and emotional abuse because Taylor Armstrong was imploding all over the place while saying she still loved her husband who took his own life. Between stone cold reality and total fabrication is her truth. And it was very painful to watch, but I think reading the book might rival having root canal performed by a crack crazed monkey.

But if one woman walks away, if one woman makes call to a domestic abuse hotline and if one woman and her children leave to start over somewhere else then maybe the publicity about this book might do some good. Just don’t read the book. Women being abused have got their own history that needs to change and don’t have any time to waste.

Maybe next time leave the crayolas at home and let someone else write a book on surviving abuse. We shouldn’t be going nutty over the lack of writing skills. It takes away from the story which is men beating up women and how that shit has got to stop.

Once Upon a Secret: My Affair with President John F. Kennedy and Its Aftermath by Mimi Alford. How much do I despise this book? If I could write the word “hate” on every grain of sand on this planet…well, let’s say that it would be a start.

When I first heard about this book I felt a little sick. And after I forced myself to listen to interviews with this woman, I felt violated. You aren’t telling us anything new. You are just giving us some graphic details. And if I catch my mother reading this book –you are going to have to call her to explain some of the stuff you wrote.

We all know that most politicians are dogs in expensive suits. President Kennedy was quite the busy guy. We all know that now. So why did Ms. Alford think she needed to write this book? She said it was liberating to tell her truth. So every fifty years you come clean? Who cares?

As a young girl, I admired President Kennedy and his stunning wife, Jackie. I was so excited to think that my president wanted all of us to pitch in and make a difference in this country and in the world. I couldn’t wait to grow up. If the gentlemen’s agreement between the White House and the press still stood, we never would have known that Kennedy had little regard for his wedding vows and women.

Power is still the greatest aphrodisiac and Ms. Alford took a sip that lasted for 18 months. So when did she know that having sex with one of the most powerful married men in the world might be a no no? Oh, that is right – fifty years later when she got herself a book deal.

Alford said author Robert Dallek “outed” her in his book, An Unfinished Life: John F. Kennedy, 1917–1963 which was published in 2004. I must have missed the news that day because Alford didn’t come up on my radar until two weeks ago.

To Ms. Alford I would say that bearing your soul is what you do in confession or with some girlfriends.

Some things are sacred. Like a little girl’s admiration for her president. As an adult, I know he was far from perfect. I would have divorced the lying dog. But hearing that someone else is coming out to free their soul by telling us the imitate details is really none of our business. The details were so intimate that Meredith Viera made Alford read them herself during the Rock Center interview. Smart move on Meredith’s part – no one wants to get their mouth washed out with soap.

I wish I had the opportunity to tell Mimi Alford to please wait until my great, great grand nieces and nephews were dead. I say that because I really would have liked to have been long gone before this masterpiece showed up in our bookstores.

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elizabeth cassidy is a humorist, artist, creativity coach for artists and writers and a faculty member of the Art League of Long Island. She is an award-wining blogger for skirt, a featured columnist for Here Women Talk and has seen her writings published in GalTime, ShareWIK, The Smartly, More and Huffington Post. She is the founder of My Views from the Edge and Coaching for the Creative Soul and is a former stand up comedienne and comedy writer for WNBC Radio. She was once compared to a young Woody Allen. Her family and friends were relieved to hear that she did not actually morph into a short Jewish man. She has also been published in The Renaissance Writers Anthology and is a published poet.

elizabeth just took 3rd place in the Long Island Press’s Best of 2102 in the life coach category.

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